*edited

was fasting, but mother came home early & i had to eat dinner.

6:30pm caesar salad; 20.
grilled chicken breast & ketchup; 90.
peas & corn; 80.
sweet potato fries & plum sauce; 200.

total: 390.

9:00pm peas & corn; 80.
peas & cheese; 100
fruit bars; 360.
PURGED.

total: 930.
(fuck.)

extra: 2 tetracycline. 2 advil+caffeine. 1 benadryl (out like a light). 1 vitamin E. 1 B+C anti-stress vitamin.

* edited.

11:30am special K, mulitgrain cheerios & soy milk with cinnamon; 260.
purge a bit.

2:45pm mcdonalds junior chicken sandwich ketchup only; 300.
two extra large coke zeros.

7:00pm snacks (asian cracker things, icecream drumstick, rice crispy, golden oreo sippers); 450.
9:00pm spinach & calorie wise creamy poppy seed dressing; 65.
orange juice; 30.
cookies; 95.

total: 1200.

11:45pm special K, mulitgrain cheerios & soy milk with cinnamon; 260.

total: 1460.

extra: 1 Paxil. 1 anti-stress vitamin.

2:00-5:00pm one medium pizza; 1640.

four nestea zeros & four glasses of water.

half a bag of chips; 400.

purge a bit.

7:45pm juice; 450.

8:15pm PurgePurgePurgePurgePurge.

total: 2490.

extra: 1 advil+caffeine. 1 B+C anti-stress vitamin.
walk for an hour, longboard for three. running around all day. half an hour of exercise in evening.

one of those pizzas;

1:00pm cheerios & cinnamon; 77.
two cans of nestea zero.

6:00pm hot dog with ketchup & relish; 250(?).
7:30pm movie popcorn; 375.
large coke zero.
Purged as much as one can in a movie theater washroom.
bounty chocolate bar; 338.

11:00pm multigrain cheerios with cinnamon & soy milk; 180.
unsweetened applesauce with flax & cinnamon; 110.
pb&j sandwich; 400.
peanut butter with splenda & cinnamon; 340.
light hot chocolate; 45.
Purged.

total: 2115.
crapcrapcrapcrapcrap.

extra: 1 tetracycline. 1 Paxil. 1 B+C anti-stress vitamin. 2 advil+caffeine. 

*however i would like to note that i did almost pass out (again) at noon. dam am i ever iron deficient. i need a new supplement for that. but in the mean time food makes me stand a little straighter.
but Paxil - makes me a little loopy, a little off, & a whole lot of itchy & twitchy. only to used in emergency's of depression.
-excusesexcusesexcuses.-

2:00pm chicken broth; 15.
crackers & hummus; 95.
3:30pm unsweetened applesauce with flax & cinnamon; 90.
4:20pm half a piece of toast & light strawberry cream cheese; 85.
5:20pm bowl of carrots with splenda & calorie wise catalina dressing; 95.
6:00pm a mug of light hot chocolate; 55.
7:00pm half of a pb&j sandwich; 165.
8:00pm two pieces of peperonie pizza; 440.
8:50pm dark chocolate & an apple; 260.

total: 1330.

extra: 2 tetracycline. 2 advil+caffeine. 1 vitamin E. 1 B+C anti-stress vitamin. 2 3 sleep aids.

got depressed & disappeared.

i'll try to not let that happen again.

breakfast for like the first time in a year.
7:45am medium carrot muffin; 195.
orange juice; 30.

lunch a friend gave me.
12:00pm onguri? (rice & stuff in asian form); 170(?)

tea at greens.
4:00pm chai; 70.
 his mom fed me.
6:30 tiny piece of spinach pizza; 160(?)
bite of carrot cake; 60(?)
pink lemonaid; 30(?)

when i got home.
10:15pm peas with pasta; 300.
orange juice; 40.
binged.
10:40pm three chocolate chip muffins with extra chocolate chips & butter; 700.
granola bar, with extra chocolate; 150.
milk; 50.
apple & melted chocolate; 150.
hot chocolate; 45.
(i think i might have a problem with chocolate.)
PURGED.

12:00pm filipino sugar snacks; 100(?).

5:15pm monster salad; 100.
corn; 80(?).
small chocolate chip muffin; 210.

6:00pm multigrain cheerios & 2% milk; 320.
total 810.

7:15pm blueberry smoothy; 110.
7:30pm hot chocolate; 45.
total 965.

8:30pm hot chocolate; 45.

9:30pm hot chocolate; 45

total 1055.

high for my liking, but it's the first day i haven't purged in awhile.
-little victory dance.-

first day of a new month.

i better not fuck this one up.

page's diet plan for the last month;
1. eat three times as much as everyone around you.
2. throw half of that up.
3a. sprinkle on some depression.
3b. eat some more.

i've got a couple weeks of everything i've eaten written down, & i was hoping to post it all up; but honestly, it's so pointless.
i'll try & be good to post here every day. (or post a couple days at a time every few days.)
starting tomorrow! (which i'll post wednesday..)
staystrong, & happy victoria day!
page.

WARNING: THE FOLLOWING INCLUDES MAJOR FAILURE.

so, this was an awful day.
literally & food intake wise.

sound & lighting meeting led to
12:00pm pizza (2veg & 2pep); 940.

felt full & gross -
was about to purge in the school washroom (1:15pm) but someone walked in. fuck.

played 3 shifts in a frisbee game.

3:10pm raisins; 70.
raspberry bars; 100.

25 leg lifts each side.

5:00pm spinach & cheese ravioli with more cheese; 375.
5:30pm horrible crappy cheap macaroni & cheese; 180.

decided i could binge as long as i purged, because this day was already fucked.
6:30pm coconut cream pie; 180.
one & a half english muffins(240) topped with 7.5 tbsp peanut butter (675)& splenda (which i made & ate in less than 2 minutes); 915
purged as best i could. i'm a little afraid i didn't get it all.
7:00pm oatmeal; 130.


total 2710.

what today would've been like without the binge 1485. which in the very least would've not made me gain, which i'm sure today will.

` edit,
so then there was almost a cup of orange juice(70) some yogurt(35) a couple granola bars(300?) and a hot chocolate(40).
none of it purged.
which brings me to 3155.

11:40am steamed carrots with poppy seed dressing; 70.

frisbee practice, then i
walked around a mall for 4 hours.

7:00pm starbucks chai frappachino; 350.
half a bag of smartfood (cheddar popcorn); 250.

10:00pm two pieces of coconut cream pie; 340.
purged all pie.
& fyi, i usually don't taste anything, but the pie, tastes the same in reverse ..

12:00am oatmeal; 115.

total 1125.

there's been a few hectic days of binging, & a few of purging, but i'm back on track.

today;

11:00am spinach ravioli(230) with ricotta(270); 300.
12:00pm one cup carrots; 35.
12:45pm cheerios(110), banana(30) & soy milk(30); 170.

3:20pm chicken soup (broth); 20
orange pekoe tea & splenda; 0

5:30pm steamed carrots(40) with poppy seed dressing(35); 75.
spinach ravioli(100) with ricotta(55); 155
5:45pm purged, very little.

binged:
6:30pm crackers(200) with dill hummas(120); 320.
7:00pm purged, quite a bit.

total: 1075.
holy fuck.

what my day would've been like without the binge: 755.

11:20am (always unsweetened) applesause; 90.

4:00pm carrots, cucumber & dip; 100.
rice chips; 90.

6:00pm chocolate chip muffin; 350.

10:00pm oatmeal & applesause; 125.
10:30pm hot chocolate; 45.

today comes to 800, EXACTLY.

scarfed down a box of raisins in the booth at 11:25am; 35.
another on the subway at 5:30pm; 35.
poppy seed salad at 6:30pm; 50
made a egg white ricotta omlet, on toast with chives & cream cheese for dinner at 8:40pm ; 210.
washed it down with orange juice, water & ginger ale; 70.
which is all 400.
pretty ok right?

but then i binged.
crackers & cheese; 375.
yogurt; 35.
banana & peanut butter; 170.
adding 580.
BLAH.

so 980. which sucks, but isn't quite as large as i thought it was going to be.

sleeptight, page.

today?
CAKE.
but not really just any cake; the cake my daddy/step-mother sent me from utah, where things bake funny at a different altitude & must be made more caloric/thicker. + it was a double chocolate fudge cake recipe, but they added extra chocolategoodstuff just for page-ie.
the UPS man handed it to me & ran away.

so about 700 calories of that.
a muffin of death tim hortins chocolate chip muffin, 460.
purged 100 calories if i was lucky.
& some more cake. 400ish?
GOD I WISH I KNEW WHAT WAS IN IT.
peach tea
& i'll end up having some soup later, 20.
` 1480 TOO MUCH.

i'm gonna go knit my frustration away.
goodnight, & staystrong;
page.

-edit-
because i am such a fat-pig who can't keep it's gob shut, i ate;
poppy seed salad, 30.
pizza, 400.
TOTAL; 1910. fuck.
goodnight.